FUCK BEER
Who the hell invented alcohol? I'm pretty damn certain that whoever did it, did it on purpose, with the sole intention of ruining someones day, and especially morning, after drinking it.
Last night I went drinking with two friends of mine. We took a trip to town, went to some clubs, played pool, and of course, drank beer.
Fuck beer. I don't know why I even keep drinking it when it's time to get drunk. Have you ever gotten used to liking something that really tastes like dog shit, even though you hate it? Beer is my first. Never before have I kept consuming something that I hated the taste of. It's really illogical - "Hey, this tastes like the inside of a dead camels ass, but I'll be damned if I don't drink it, because peer pressure and the solemn promise "You'll get used to it eventually" seems to do the trick every time. It's especially illogical when you think of all the alternatives to beer there are out there: wine, champagne, vodka, whiskey, tequila, etc etc. All sorts of alcoholic beverages, and yet, every time I go drinking with the sole intention of getting drunk, I end up drinking beer, the alcoholic beverage that induces your gag reflex with every chug, has an uncanny resemblance to urine, smells like carbonated urine, and is really expensive, when in consideration to what you get for your money. You get a whimpy buzz from beer (unless you drink like 20 beers, and it's really not worth the price) and you smell like it when you spill it over your clothes.
From now on, I'm sticking to booze when getting under the influence.
UPDATE! : Like I expected, I ended up drinking beer two nights after I wrote this article, along with miscellaneous booze. The result was a groggy me the morning after, all dehydrated. Fantastic. Seems to be the folley of man.