My New Profession - Terrorist Counseling!
Me and one of my very good friends (from now on referred to as Laffen), were discussing the recent terrorist plot that was foiled by the British Government. We were both thinking "What amateurish assholes. We could have pulled through alot
better..." Being stopped by the government? What kinda terrorists are these?
So anyhow, we were discussing this and we both sat there, coming up with ways this could've gone successfully, i.e: Locking up all the security doors at Harrods (a huge shopping centre in London), going in there a dozen men with automatic assault
rifles and just plowing your way through the masses. When the cops finally get to you and fill your ass full of lead, it's OK, since these guys are striving to be martyrs.
They also seem to have this absurd fascination with airplanes. Why? If you're at least gonna fly before you die, get your own damn plane, load that son of a bitch with as much explosives, acids and radioactive material as you possibly can and smash it
into something crowded with people. If you do it all yourself, then the government won't disturb as much (after all, going about your illegal business on an airport, the place in the country with the most surveillance and highest security, seems pretty stupid to me) and you can take off with your aircraft somewhere where the surveillance cameras and security guards don't exist in abundance.
So what is the culmination of these suggestions, you might be asking? Well, me and my good friend Laffen came to the conclusion we should become terrorist counselors! How awesome a profession is that? The terrorists in the media these days are obviously morons, since they get caught and their plot is foiled, so we decided that if they're gonna get shit done, they need counseling - our counseling!
1. Instead of using commercial airplanes - get your own
This one should be mandatory for all terrorists who wants to use a plane in the terrorist act. People won't interrupt so much when you mess around with your own airplane, say, for example, loading it with C4.
2. Don't just take out some train station - think further
If you take out nearby hospitals and fire stations simultaneously as you take out some other place, help will have to come from somewhere else, it will take more time, thus, more people / infidels are likely to die from wounds and injuries if they
aren't completely obliterated yet.
3. Don't just rely on explosives to administer all the carnage
Be creative - use poisonous gas, acid, nerve gas and other toxins (for example, change the water supply from water to deadly acid and then start a fire in the building), heavy artillery etc, etc. How about locking all the exits in an office building
as you send nervegas through the ventilation system? The possibilities are endless - use your imagination!
4. Car bombs are starting to get old - use bus and trailer bombs!
They draw as much scrutinizing looks from people as other vehicles and they can carry alot more death-bringing material like TNT, C4, RMX, cordite, whatever. It's bound to kill more than a weasly 20-30 infidels.
There are so many ways to kill infidels other than attacking commercial airliners connecting points for public transportation.
If you are in doubt about how to go about your works of carnage - contact Jihad Consult TODAY!